Before I go to sleep…

Okay, so tomorrow I start my first day at Uni. I must say that O-Week was really fun! I really commend those who organized it because as a result, based on my experience, I got a glimpse of what Uni life is about. But thinking about it, I realize how this is just the first step. And I am so excited!

Have a good night everyone! xx

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When you feel like you are not worthy enough

It is just a feeling, note to self.

 

There are still many roads to take. Too many laughs that should not be wasted on worrying about things that is all a product of your  mind. You’ve got time to improve, time to make up for losses, time to live life to the fullest. You are the driver of your life. Make the people enjoy the backseat ride of being on it.

 

Noted.

Daddy’s Girl.

Daddy's Girl.

I really really really miss my Dad sooooo much. I still hadn’t visited him this month and I’m feeling so sad. I pray for him every day, every night, hoping that he’s okay.

I remember the day when I asked him if I could go live with my Mom because we both know it would be for the better. Even though I would miss him, even though I won’t be there by his side, we both know that this would happen sooner or later. I couldn’t look at him. “Pa, uuwi na ko kay Mama. Di ko na kaya dito eh,” with those words, tears started streaming down my face. At the corner of my eye, I saw him crying too. I’ll never forget how painful that was, the sight of him crying just makes me want to beat myself. After a while his crying ceased and he gave me a weak smile. One smile I would never forget. It served as an encouragement to me, a will to live. I believe that my Dad is a living testament of God’s goodness. I am thankful that my Dad is still alive after battling almost 3 years of ceisures at the early years of his stroke. It’s been almost 8 years since the attack happened, and ever since my Dad couldn’t feel the right part of his body. Living with him since, I saw him struggle, fight, and live another day. I admire my Dad because he never gave up. I really love my Dad.

He is my inspiration.

Not to save face but to save my heart.

Not to save face but to save my heart.

Haven’t been posting for a while now…it’s because a lot of things happened these past few days. In one day. I decided to leave everything behind, something comfortable and just there. It was a risk. I went home to my Mom, and this was the condition. I’d gladly accept it.

I decided to shift courses.

Emotions and Conscience

Honestly, I felt very sad at first. Actually, many feelings came to me.
1. Anger
2. Sadness
3. Resentment
4. Bitterness
5. Longing

And the list goes on. Yesterday, I attended The Feast at PICC. It was not new to me but yesterday’s session was just really, I don’t know, life-changing. I remember what the preacher said, that emotions are different from your conscience. He said that emotions are real, these are things that you feel. Conscience is doing what is right, what you know is good for you. So it comes down to what is real (emotions) and what is right (conscience).

For now, I am trusting the Lord with all my heart that this is the path He has planned for me. Of course I will feel a lot of things, that’s normal, I am only human. But I know that this is the right thing to do. For my Dad. For my family…and especially. This is the right thing for me.

Officialy a member!

This day was just a good day for me. Thank you God for all of the blessings I am receiving! 

 

Gotta love lab! 🙂

I really enjoyed my two lab classes (electrical and organic chemistry) today. I’m happy that I squeezed it all on a Friday, ’twas a good choice.Now let me talk about my Organic Chemistry lab. I really love my groupmates! ❤ We really worked hand-in-hand to finish the experiment correctly. We finished second so we got a +3! Yay! :)) #nerd hahaha.

On the other hand, I’m still getting used to my Swiss cheese schedule and so far I’m liking it. At least I can do school stuff during long breaks. :)) Really really hyped on doing good this term, I really want to learn this stuff. ❤

We made it from the bottom now we’re up.

Moving on, this day is very special for me because this is the day I became a legit member of the official  University paper (Ang Pahayagang Plaridel). Before I was only a correspondent, but now I am a fully-pledged member! So proud of myself. :> Another blessing indeed!

 

Realizations: When I think that things are not going the way I planned, or whenever I feel insecure, I just talk to God and that always makes me feel better. That’s the reason for the smile on my face. 🙂 I still have a lot to be grateful for.

 

 

“The most beaut…

“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.”
— Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

A close friend of mine named Janne commented this on my Facebook page and said that I’m the first person she thought about when she read this quote. I am deeply moved by this…truly. ❤

Thank you God for this wonderful feeling.

 

“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths.”

I totally agree with this. Coming from a broken family, I guess I have a lot to say about suffering, struggle, and loss. But given this tragic past, I don’t want to continue living in it. I still cry about it at night though… 🙂 But whatever. I realized that if those things did not happen to me, I would not have been the same person I am today. I’ve grown closer to God. I’ve got this deep and personal relationship with Him, a very priceless thing. I have found my way out of the depths. ❤

 

“These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern.”

Which makes me the emotional optimist that I am. I’m very hard to understand (malabo talaga ako hehe), but once you’ve taken the chance to get to know me..please. I am fabulous! Hahaha, joke. I just really like talking to people, about anything! Problems, advice, or if you need someone to talk to, feel free to contact me. 🙂

 

 

Beautiful people do not just happen. 😉